i bet in 2000 years theyre gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they’ll find a nokia still on half battery
sometimes I think about how weird it is that dogs wag their tails when they’re happy like they don’t even think about it they just instinctively wave their butts around and flail their butt appendage
but then other times I realise that when humans are happy they open their mouths and expose their teeth like. you have pleased The TEETH. to prove the extent of the joy of The TEETH we will now expel short, loud bursts of sound. you have done well today. The TEETH are satisfied.
waking up cold: alright I need more blankies
waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.
whenever i see a frog on a lily pad im like yeah man… thats exactly where youre supposed to be
kylie jenner turns to vine for screen time because she gets none on keeping up with the kardashians
just curious has she ever done anything wrong or are yall just mad cause shes cuter and richer than you?
I wanna meet someone’s who’s going to be like ‘hey wake up I’m taking you on an adventure’
I wanna meet someone who’s going to be like ‘hey wake up we have to lay in bed and do nothing all day long’
I wanna meet someone who can be both.